About Me

I help couples and teams to talk more, fight less and work together.

The Becoming One Philosophy

The biggest problem we have as a human is how do we get along with others?

As a social creature we need people, yet they complicate our life.  The problem isn't really people, but the frame of how we relate.  Our relationships are typically unfulfilling and our teams underperform because we have two or more world views, visions and operating systems.

The old way was to try and crush everyone who disagrees with you so your way dominated.

The problem is that eventually all you have left is you.  There is a better way.  If we look at our physical world, everything we see is made up of individual atoms that have bonded together to make something none could make alone.

This is the model and the path for us to emulate in our relationships.

In our current state, our relationships and groups are like two atoms sharing space, but without bonding.  We think it's about vision, leadership and being the alpha.  But actually it's far more intricate, nuanced and organic.

It's about dropping an individual identity and merging to create a collective identity that is greater than anyone could create alone.

This is not about manipulating others to buy-in to your vision, creating a cult or becoming a stepford wife.  It is about creating relationships and teams of equality where both are wholly invested in the outcome.  

It is Becoming One.

A relationship where two become one.  A team where everyone acts as part of the same organism.  This is the challenge for us individually, for our organisations and for us as a society.

The Origin of The Relational

In almost three decades as a Therapist, Psychologist and Mediator I kept seeing the same problems coming up again and again.

The biggest problems people talked about were with other people.  And these problems had a pattern.  So seven years ago I focused everything on understanding how to make relationships easier.

I began learning all I could and talking to people about their relationship problems.  

You can listen in to some of the group sessions where we discussed various issues about dating, relationships and breakups on my podcast page.  All the while I kept gathering notes and testing and refining my models and philosophies.  Now, even though I have developed a working model that I'm pretty happy with, I'm still looking to always add in more ideas and find the new evolution.


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Want to learn more about the Becoming One methodology?  Sign up for a workshop or contact me to run workshops for your team.