What if you could turn...

fighting and disconnection

Into deep connection and easy talking

in 12 hours

That is exactly what Unite In 12 does

Unite in 12 is our process to fix a relationship in 12 hours by talking, learning trust and becoming a true team.


People aren't broken... our relational frame is broken

Half of our most committed relationships (marriages) fail.

Yet, most people think the reason their relationship broke down was either because of them or their partner.  They think of only they can find ‘their one’ they’ll live happily ever after.  So they think they’ll find someone better, more compatible and it’ll all work out.

But it doesn’t.

Which is why second marriages have less success than first marriages.  And third less than second.  The problem is that we don’t expect problems.

So when they happen we aren’t prepared for them and we don’t know how to deal with them.


Why Relationships break

Relationships break at the moments of disagreement.

Without knowing how to handle conflict effectively people stop talking.  Then they lose trust in each other.  The relationship deteriorates and they end up competing instead of working together.

We have to interrupt the cycle and turn the vicious cycle into a virtuous cycle.


Repairing Any relationship Takes three key steps

There’s three core elements to broken relationships;

  1. We don’t trust the other person and see them as a barrier to our goals.
  2. We don’t talk freely to them to build trust
  3. We don’t work together because we don’t trust them

We fix relationships by changing how we think, how we talk and how we work together.



Relationship problems begin with the frames we use to think about relationships and conflict.

We have to reframe relationships.


We don’t talk openly enough because we rarely cope with conflict effectively.  So we stop talking.

We have to disagree without drama.


Because we aren’t good at disagreeing, we stop talking and trusting.  We then think of the other as competing.

We have to learn to unite with purpose.

The Unite in 12 journey

The Unite in 12 process is 12 hours devoted to getting two people to think differently about each other.  To talk more openly.  And to see each other as a team together.

Like every Hollywood movie showing a relationship going from hate to love, relationships need to create moments of breakthrough.  Unite in 12 is a toolkit of different strategies to change the dynamics of a particular relationship.  Every individual is unique and so every relationship is unique.

Therefore the process will look different for different relationships, but here’s some of the tools we’ll use…


Personal Blueprint

How do you work? What do others need to understand to get you? And what's your styles of interacting?

Self Construct Map

Why do you act as you do? How much is YOU and how much is what you've been taught or reacting to the past?

Your Hero's Journey

What is the quest you are on? What is the prize? Who's your friends and allies and who's your enemy?

Disagree Without drama process map

Relationships break because we don't know how to deal with conflict. Disagree without drama is a process for making conflict natural and painless.

Emotional regulation compass

If we start interactions with anger, frustration or contempt they turn out badly. Before any interaction comes our state.

living The trust triangle

We can't have trust without integrity. Without integrity we become unpredictable and so people have trouble in relating to us.

The Unite with purpose roadmap

Relationships break because we don't know how to deal with conflict. Disagree without drama is a process for making conflict natural and painless.

Connecting Conversations

Relationships are built on revealing conversations. When we open up and share something new about ourselves, we invite people to change how they see us.

collaborative problem solving

Engagement follows involvement. We all like change we initiate. None of us like change being done to us. Problems are best solved together.

What Other's Say

Unite In 12 was built over 30 years insights

Hi I’m Rob,

In 1993 I started a journey that led me to train as a Therapist, study happiness at University and then become a Relationship Coach and Mediator.

I learned that 85% of problems are relationship problems.  And most relationship problems come from conflict.

Over the last few years I’ve been working intensively with groups and individuals to crack the code on how we can make relationships work.

Unite in 12 is the best of every insight I’ve had along that journey.


Want to find out if i can solve your people problem?

If you’re like most leaders you probably have a person problem.

Either a difficult employee or a fighting pair.  It seems like nothing works and you just wish they’d go.  Maybe Unite in 12 could solve your problem.

Every situation is different so it all starts with a chat to find out.